To Record What I Have Been Through

I think. I observe.

It has almost been half a year now I am working in Batam office. I find the office stagnant in design and lead by a bunch of old conservative men who have no talent nor hardwork, surviving solely with decently good ass-kissing skill. No coordination between departments, between the consultants and the contractor, between the consultants and the clients are observed, even if there is, it will be very subtle and insignificant.

I am recording this in hope of me not losing my innocence in Architecture the day I was first introduced to it, the day that I saw wonder and hope. The day I saw Beauty.
I am in constant fear that I might lose my ideal, that this office, instead of teaching me, will corrupt me. I have to always put myself in a neutral position, to stand outside the system and to see the system itself, the way I did for the last two years of my study at Singapore Polytechnic. I must be aware of this.

There are a lot of things that I am not in agreement with my current office.
I dislike the design method: Addition-and-Covering. Addition-and-Covering is a last minute way to resolve design and problems on-site for practical purpose. I have not objection towards solving problems on-site, a circumstance inevitable. But the way the office do it has to be very clear. In this office, instead of the architects/designers solving the problems, the problems are thrown to the contractor and asked to produce shop-drawing. Such way of throwing responsibility is very unprofessional and in a way, asking the contractor to design, while we the architects should have been the one who solve and design.
What role do we have now but a whore for the clients trying to earn as much money as we can?

This office lacks integrity and ideal.
I learned a lot on what not to do.